30 More Days of Grace

The Struggle is Real True forgiveness is one of the most difficult aspects of attempting to live like Jesus for me.  I’m really good at ignoring people, pretending like hurts don’t exist, and putting on an “I’m fine” face.  I’m really good at moving forward, doing what needs to be done, and making the most of really terrible situations.   But, I’m really bad at wrestling with the hurt and pain others have caused me and forgiving them.   It’s not even that I wallow around in the pit of self-pity or harbor unresolved anger.  No, instead, I just ignore the offenses and the effects they had on me and move on with my life.  And, I know what you’re probably thinking: that doesn’t sound that bad. It could be worse, right?  I’m sure it could be. The reality, though, is that Jesus commanded us to forgive one another, just as our father in heaven has forgiven us, and that means I can’t just go on with my life in a constant state of ...

Life Lessons from Winnie the Pooh: I’m from the era of Saturday morning cartoons.  When we were kids, my brother and I would get up on Saturday mornings, park ourselves in front of the tv in our living room, and spend the morning watching Saturday morning cartoons because that was the only time cartoons were on and we were actually able to control the tv! Winnie the Pooh was always on, so we grew up with Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore, Piglet, Kanga, Roo, Rabbit, Tigger, Christopher Robbin, and Owl.  Every episode of Winnie the Pooh involved the characters getting themselves into some type of trouble or trying to solve some type of problem. And, in every episode, Tigger was getting himself in some type of trouble, Winnie the Pooh was guilty by association, Eeyore was the nay-sayer cloaked in self-pity, and Owl was just waiting to bestow wisdom and advice on his friends. I think, if we take a minute to be a little self-reflective and introspective, we can all agree that...

Let Her Dance! I was sitting in church today, and there was a little girl in front of me, probably five or six years old.  When the lights dimmed and the band started playing, she hopped up and started dancing through her row. As we sang Great are you Lord , she danced.  She twirled and flowed, extending her arms, looking toward heaven, and dancing uninhibited as the picture of innocence and grace.   I saw her mom doing that thing we do as mothers, watching, waiting, trying to determine when to intervene.  And, secretly, I prayed that her mom would just let her dance. Toward the end of the song, I noticed her mom getting a little fidgety, glancing over at her daughter more and more often.  By the end of the song, her mom had leaned over and whispered for the little girl to sit down. “No,” I thought, “let her dance!” As the second song started, the little girl glanced over at her mom and noticed she wasn’t paying attention, so up she sprang ...

Unarmed and Unprepared: I walked into the counseling office this week unarmed and unprepared for attack.  It was my own fault, really. I’ve spent the week ticking off boxes on my own to-do list and working through my own junk with my own counseling and appointments that I honestly forgot to think about what I would be walking into at my daughter’s counseling appointment.  But, I survived. See, sometimes I forget that not everyone I come into contact with on a daily basis has walked through the last 18 months with me. I forget that some of the people I come into contact with have done nothing but stood back and judged me quietly, while others have openly condemned me, and still others don’t know what to think, say, or do with me.  I forget that my circle is small, and that those people in my circle are truly the only ones who know the intimate details of my journey. I forget the other people who cross paths with me on a daily basis probably wonder what I’ve been...

But, Mommmmmm…. My older brother, Jeremy, had this obsession with unique vehicles when he was a teenager and throughout his early twenties.  He chose to buy some of the strangest cars and trucks. When he was still in high school, he bought this 1970s boat of a white Cadillac.  It was one of the biggest, ugliest, most impractical cars ever. But, he had the money, and he wanted it, so he bought it. And the trend only continued from there with his El Camino, Dodge Stealth, and Sporty S10--all completely impractical cars that our mother disapproved of and knew were far from his best choices.  But, she never tried to talk him out of his car choices or even make a case as to why he should be doing something differently. I think mom knew it would be a pointless argument to even attempt. I think she knew Jeremy well enough to know that he was determined to do what he wanted regardless of whether or not it was his best choice.   And she knew he would co...