About

Why Writing?

I am an extroverted introvert who spends way too much time in my own head and who has always loved writing.  I haven't just loved writing, I guess; in a way, I have needed writing to help me maintain some sense of sanity in this crazy thing I call life.  See, my mind runs 100 miles a minute ALL THE TIME. And it flits from one topic to the next without so much as a breath between them, so writing helps me focus.  It helps me work through one thought before my brain jumps to the next major issue I wish I could solve.   So, a Christian blog by an imperfect Christian blogger seemed like the next step for me!

Why 30 More Days of Grace?

I was at dinner with one of my oldest friends not too long ago, and she looked me in the eyes like only she can do, and she said: "Kristen, you have spent 39 years being fine.  It's good to see you embracing the fact that you aren't fine."  Whoa.  Yeah.  Preach.  I grew up hearing the repeated mantra of "suck it up," and somewhere along the way, I internalized that.  I soaked it in until I sucked it up to the point where I'm not sure I even knew how to feel anymore.  I was good at being "fine."  I was good at doing all of the things that were expected of me.  I was good at being the person the world and society expected me to be.  

But, I was empty.

And, eventually I was numb.

You know what that is?  

A giant recipe for disaster.  

My first 30 days of grace came out of the aftermath of this disaster.  I was sitting on my back deck, staring out at the trees and I had one of those God moments.  Maybe you're familiar with those God moments, the ones where you don't really want to tell anyone about them because you're afraid you might get committed for hearing voices.  It was one of those moments.  I was sitting there attempting to figure out how to move forward in my life when God told me to stop and take in his Grace.  And write.  

He told me to write.  

And to bask in his grace.  

For 30 days.  

So, I did.  I committed to not making any decisions for 30 days, to not think about any next steps for 30 days, and to simply pray, write, and bask in God's grace for 30 straight days.  Honestly, it was like a reboot of my life.  I remember walking inside one morning after writing.  Standing there in the kitchen right then, I felt awake for the first time in years, and maybe even forever.  I remember standing there and looking around with clear eyes and a clear mind and thinking, "What have I been doing all my life?"

I spent the next two months sitting, waiting, and listening really closely, and one morning I woke up to the realization that I was physically, mentally, and spiritually healthier than I had been in...I don't even really know how long.  And, God said, "see what I did there?"  Yep.  Yep, I did.  

And somewhere during those two months, I made the decision not to be "fine" anymore.  I made the decision to quit sarcasm (some days are better than others), to be real, to be honest, and to just be me.  I made the decision to always remember that moment of awakening, to always be healthy, and to live in Grace even when I'm a giant hot mess (which is often).  

And, even though I have no idea what tomorrow will bring or what the future holds, I'm going to embrace 30 more days of grace and share it with you!