30 More Days of Grace

Unarmed and Unprepared: I walked into the counseling office this week unarmed and unprepared for attack.  It was my own fault, really. I’ve spent the week ticking off boxes on my own to-do list and working through my own junk with my own counseling and appointments that I honestly forgot to think about what I would be walking into at my daughter’s counseling appointment.  But, I survived. See, sometimes I forget that not everyone I come into contact with on a daily basis has walked through the last 18 months with me. I forget that some of the people I come into contact with have done nothing but stood back and judged me quietly, while others have openly condemned me, and still others don’t know what to think, say, or do with me.  I forget that my circle is small, and that those people in my circle are truly the only ones who know the intimate details of my journey. I forget the other people who cross paths with me on a daily basis probably wonder what I’ve been through, or i

But, Mommmmmm…. My older brother, Jeremy, had this obsession with unique vehicles when he was a teenager and throughout his early twenties.  He chose to buy some of the strangest cars and trucks. When he was still in high school, he bought this 1970s boat of a white Cadillac.  It was one of the biggest, ugliest, most impractical cars ever. But, he had the money, and he wanted it, so he bought it. And the trend only continued from there with his El Camino, Dodge Stealth, and Sporty S10--all completely impractical cars that our mother disapproved of and knew were far from his best choices.  But, she never tried to talk him out of his car choices or even make a case as to why he should be doing something differently. I think mom knew it would be a pointless argument to even attempt. I think she knew Jeremy well enough to know that he was determined to do what he wanted regardless of whether or not it was his best choice.   And she knew he would continue to do it over and