30 More Days of Grace

The Struggle is Real True forgiveness is one of the most difficult aspects of attempting to live like Jesus for me.  I’m really good at ignoring people, pretending like hurts don’t exist, and putting on an “I’m fine” face.  I’m really good at moving forward, doing what needs to be done, and making the most of really terrible situations.   But, I’m really bad at wrestling with the hurt and pain others have caused me and forgiving them.   It’s not even that I wallow around in the pit of self-pity or harbor unresolved anger.  No, instead, I just ignore the offenses and the effects they had on me and move on with my life.  And, I know what you’re probably thinking: that doesn’t sound that bad. It could be worse, right?  I’m sure it could be. The reality, though, is that Jesus commanded us to forgive one another, just as our father in heaven has forgiven us, and that means I can’t just go on with my life in a constant state of ...

Life Lessons from Winnie the Pooh: I’m from the era of Saturday morning cartoons.  When we were kids, my brother and I would get up on Saturday mornings, park ourselves in front of the tv in our living room, and spend the morning watching Saturday morning cartoons because that was the only time cartoons were on and we were actually able to control the tv! Winnie the Pooh was always on, so we grew up with Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore, Piglet, Kanga, Roo, Rabbit, Tigger, Christopher Robbin, and Owl.  Every episode of Winnie the Pooh involved the characters getting themselves into some type of trouble or trying to solve some type of problem. And, in every episode, Tigger was getting himself in some type of trouble, Winnie the Pooh was guilty by association, Eeyore was the nay-sayer cloaked in self-pity, and Owl was just waiting to bestow wisdom and advice on his friends. I think, if we take a minute to be a little self-reflective and introspective, we can all agree that...

Unarmed and Unprepared: I walked into the counseling office this week unarmed and unprepared for attack.  It was my own fault, really. I’ve spent the week ticking off boxes on my own to-do list and working through my own junk with my own counseling and appointments that I honestly forgot to think about what I would be walking into at my daughter’s counseling appointment.  But, I survived. See, sometimes I forget that not everyone I come into contact with on a daily basis has walked through the last 18 months with me. I forget that some of the people I come into contact with have done nothing but stood back and judged me quietly, while others have openly condemned me, and still others don’t know what to think, say, or do with me.  I forget that my circle is small, and that those people in my circle are truly the only ones who know the intimate details of my journey. I forget the other people who cross paths with me on a daily basis probably wonder what I’ve been...

Unplugged: I grew up in the 80s and 90s.  There was no such thing as “screen time” when I was a kid because by the time our dial-up internet connected and we were welcomed by AOL, we had forgotten why we were even staring at the screen! The longest we ever spent on the computer was to attempt to travel the Oregon Trail without dying of Dysentery!   BP (Before Prison), I don’t think I would have even entertained the idea of being unplugged or disconnected.  So much of our lives are dependent on or driven by being plugged in and connected. Seriously, think about how many times you google something in a day!  What was life even like before we had unlimited information at our fingertips? What did we do when we actually had to talk to each other face to face, when we had to rely on passing notes in middle school, and when we didn’t have social media to convey a picture perfect life? Prison was like returning to life in the 80s and 90s in so many ways...

Orange is, in Fact, NOT the New Black I walked into a birthday party a few days after getting out of prison, only to be met with shock--not because I was there, but because I was there and looked like a normal human being.  These were people I have known my whole life, and the consistent theme of the night was, “you look so good.” To be completely honest with you, I didn’t really think that much of it during the evening.  No, it wasn’t until I walked into church the next morning and again was met with the same looks of shock and the same comments of, “wow, you look so good.” Now, by this point, I have to admit, I started to get a bit of a complex.  I was definitely wondering how terrible I must have looked before I went to prison for everyone to be so amazed at the fact that I am tan, healthy, and rested!   And then it hit me. People were amazed at how I looked because, in reality, we have no idea what prison is actually like!  We know what...