30 More Days of Grace

Orange is, in Fact, NOT the New Black I walked into a birthday party a few days after getting out of prison, only to be met with shock--not because I was there, but because I was there and looked like a normal human being.  These were people I have known my whole life, and the consistent theme of the night was, “you look so good.” To be completely honest with you, I didn’t really think that much of it during the evening.  No, it wasn’t until I walked into church the next morning and again was met with the same looks of shock and the same comments of, “wow, you look so good.” Now, by this point, I have to admit, I started to get a bit of a complex.  I was definitely wondering how terrible I must have looked before I went to prison for everyone to be so amazed at the fact that I am tan, healthy, and rested!   And then it hit me. People were amazed at how I looked because, in reality, we have no idea what prison is actually like!  We know what...

Confession:  The Importance of Being Honest I’m a terrible liar. Seriously. An absolutely terrible liar. Now, I know what you’re thinking: This blog series is called “Lessons from Behind the Fence.”  You just got out of prison. How can you be a terrible liar?   Yes, yes, all those things are correct, but so is the fact that I am a terrible liar.  If I even try to lie, I get caught.  I had an affair.   I tried to lie.   I got caught.  And, honestly, if I could lie at all, I would never have even gone to prison!  Shoot, I was in the room with the detectives for less than 30 seconds before I completely told on myself.  And, just like in all the cheesy tv dramas, the detectives had nothing.   But they were great liars. And, I am a terrible liar. To be perfectly honest with you, though, I’m glad I’m a terrible liar.  It seems like everywhere I turn, I am faced with liars: in rela...

If I Learned One Thing in Prison: Lessons from Behind the Fence: Lesson 1: The Truth will set you Free I spent the last 8 months in prison. Literally. I spent the last 20 years in prison. Figuratively. And you know what?  The figurative prison was much more difficult than the literal prison.   For real. The Truth will Set You Free...Except when it Lands you Behind Bars I spent my 20s and 30s living what appeared to be the perfect and somewhat charmed life to the outside world.  I smiled when I was supposed to smile. I cried on cue when I was supposed to cry. And, like so many strong and good Christian women, I sacrificed everything that made me for the sake of everything everyone else needed.   And it ultimately destroyed me. It broke me into a million little pieces. And then the pieces shattered into dust.   I got married at 20, graduated college at 22, got a teaching job immediately, and started teaching...

“If God closes a door” and Other Cliches that should be Retired: I grew up on Christian cliches. They were plastered on posters in my Sunday School rooms, tossed around freely at church camp, and generally spouted every time the church doors were open. “God will never give you more than you can handle.” “If he leads you to it, he’ll lead you through it.” “When God closes a door, he opens a window.” “Let go and let God.” “God helps those who helps themselves.” “If it’s God’s will…” “Jesus, take the wheel.” Okay, that last one might be a country song and not a Christian cliche, but it fits, right?! I’d love to take apart each one of these cliches, and maybe someday I’ll do a series on them, but today, today I just want to think about one of them. The first one. The biggest offender. “God will never give you more than you can handle.” False. Not true. Bold-faced lie. “God will never give you more than you can handle,” but... I’m not entirely sure where this cliche originat...

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Other Lies we tell Kids: I ’m not sure if I ever believed in Santa. Growing up, my family members were professional sarcasm slingers and outstanding kings of creativity.  Consequently, it took immense amounts of discernment to actually know when the truth was being told. I spent years with my brother telling me I was adopted and from a different planet.  I think it might have been his sole purpose in life to destroy every one of my childhood paradigms! So, you can imagine what he did with Santa.   I was probably around five or six when he systematically tore apart every detail of the Santa myth for me.  I don’t know how much I actually believed in Santa at that point, but I know that I was done after that! What’s funny about this, is that he spent hours of our childhood trying to convince me of all of these random tales my parents would have killed him for, but when he had the opportunity to expand on the Santa tale, he ...