Confession: The Importance of Being Honest

Confession:  The Importance of Being Honest

I’m a terrible liar.

Seriously.
An absolutely terrible liar.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: This blog series is called “Lessons from Behind the Fence.”  You just got out of prison. How can you be a terrible liar?  Yes, yes, all those things are correct, but so is the fact that I am a terrible liar.  If I even try to lie, I get caught. 

I had an affair.  

I tried to lie.  

I got caught. 

And, honestly, if I could lie at all, I would never have even gone to prison!  Shoot, I was in the room with the detectives for less than 30 seconds before I completely told on myself.  And, just like in all the cheesy tv dramas, the detectives had nothing.  

But they were great liars.

And, I am a terrible liar.

To be perfectly honest with you, though, I’m glad I’m a terrible liar.  It seems like everywhere I turn, I am faced with liars: in relationships, the church, the workplace, and especially prison. And, it just seems like an exhausting way to live.  It must be absolutely overwhelming to attempt to keep all of your lies straight, to remember what story you told to which person, and to attempt to manage all that chaos!  

But people do it all the time.

And it always backfires.

It always ends up catching up with them.

I Didn’t Do It!



x

Within the first few hours of being in prison, I learned that I might be one of the only guilty people actually behind the fence.  At least, I was one of the only people who actually owned and acknowledged my guilt. I can’t tell you the amount of times I would sit and listen to people talk and rationalize every single one of their decisions and justify all of their actions, ultimately declaring themselves innocent.

Even when they clearly weren’t.  

It almost became a game to me after some time.  I would listen to people tell stories and just wait until they were done because, ultimately, they would always turn to me and ask about my situation.  And, I would always say, “Oh, no. I did it. I’m completely guilty.” And, it was so interesting to watch people respond because the reality of our world today is that we don’t typically take responsibility for our actions. So, most of the time, people didn’t even know what to say.  And, instead, they would launch into some nervous dissertation about how I had been wronged and everything I should do about it. It was honestly comical because I would sit and listen to everyone else rationalizing my decisions, justifying my actions, and ultimately declaring me innocent!  Even though I clearly wasn’t and had already openly confessed my guilt!

Back BP (before prison), although I couldn’t lie, I tried really hard to tell little white lies and distort the truth.  See, I hated being wrong. I hated messing up. I hated for people to be disappointed in me. So, whenever I was faced with a situation where I thought I risked one of those things, I would attempt to find a way to spin the situation with little white lies so that I wouldn’t be wrong, mess up, or disappoint anyone.  And, you know what? It really was incredibly exhausting!

But, you know what I learned from having my worst mistake put on blast on the front page of the newspaper?  There is freedom in confession.

There is freedom in truth.

And, something about that experience changed my entire perspective on the whole concept of confession.

I John 1:9 says: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

I honestly can’t tell you how many times I have heard that scripture in my life, but it became real to me, almost tangible, while I was behind the fence.  

And here’s why

I grew up in the church.  I memorized the plan of salvation as I learned to talk.  I knew confession was part of God’s plan for salvation. But, I think I missed how very vital confession is to our relationship with God.  

We have to be able to confess our mistakes, to admit our wrongs, to acknowledge our shortcomings in order for our Father to forgive us and purify us.  We have to acknowledge the need for forgiveness, and to do that, we have to admit when we are wrong.  We know that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness, but how can God’s strength ever be made perfect if we can’t even acknowledge our own weakness?

Think about that for just a minute. 

How can God’s strength truly be made perfect in our weakness if we never even acknowledge our weakness?  There are so many broken people in the world today who are too proud to ever even begin to own their brokenness.  They are too worried about disappointing anyone to confess their mistakes. They are too focused on maintaining an image to ever own their own shortcomings.  

And that is an exhausting way to live.

Pride Comes Before a Fall

There are so many warnings against pride throughout scripture, and I have to believe that this obsession we have with rationalizing, justifying, and just plain lying all comes back to our own pride.  Swallowing our pride means admitting we are wrong. Swallowing our pride means confessing our sins. Swallowing our pride means acknowledging our weakness.  

There is freedom and strength in the simple act of acknowledging and confessing my mistakes, and that confession has become so much easier than the laborious task of justifying and rationalizing them.  In fact, I have found that a simple apology is much better than a fabricated explanation.

And I have to think these are all reasons why confession is so important to our relationship with our Father. God’s not interested in our excuses, justifications, or rationalizations. He is much more concerned with our acknowledgment and our apologies.  Because it isn’t until we acknowledge and apologize for our shortcomings and weaknesses that we can move into repentance and truly make a change.

Friends, my challenge for you today is to acknowledge, accept, and confess your mistakes, no matter how small they might be.  My challenge is for you to worry more about your growth and relationship with the Father than disappointing others or maintaining an image.  My challenge is for you to swallow your pride enough to say, “ I was wrong. I’m sorry.”