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Knowing your Limits: Confessions of a Recovering "Do-it-All"


There was one day of volleyball tryouts that I dreaded more than any others.  The thought of that day gave me anxiety, caused me to lose sleep, and was almost enough to make me forego playing volleyball in high school.

The 2 mile run.

I loathed running in middle school, high school, and, honestly, throughout the first 37 years of my life.  Running represented all of my weaknesses and limitations. I was never a skinny girl. In fact, throughout my late elementary years, I was a bit on the round side.  I hit puberty between 5th and 6th grade and shot up, but I still didn’t “thin out.” And, I don’t know if you ever really get over being the “fat kid” in elementary school.  So, when I was forced to do a timed run for volleyball tryouts, every insecurity and all of my limits dominated my thoughts.

We had 20 minutes to run 2 miles.  The reality of this was that I never had a problem actually making my 2 miles in 20 minutes, but the fear that I wouldn’t was almost paralyzing to me.  O…
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Mean Girls and Trench People: How do we Handle Crisis and Tragedy?

Mean Girls Kate was four the first time she asked me why girls are mean.
We were in the car on the way home from her babysitter’s house.  We had just gone around the corner by the house that’s always for sale and never finished.  Like everyday, she was recounting the events of her day when she paused for a second before breaking the silence by asking me, “Mom, why are girls mean?”
More crickets.
Defaulting to a complete parenting cliche, I responded with the “we’re all mean sometimes” terrible cop-out of an answer.  I’m sure our conversation continued, but I can’t remember what we even talked about because my mind was reeling with the fact that, at four years old, Kate had already observed girls being mean and had already started to question why it has to be this way.  
I could and can relate. I’ve never been good with girls.  
I didn’t have close girlfriends in elementary school. My interests were never “girly,” and I’ve never really felt like I fit with girls.  During recess, whe…

When you're in the Darkness, the Wilderness, or Climbing the Mountain

I’ve done my time in the darkness.

Actually, I’ve done several stints in the darkness, and the thing that always gets me about the darkness is that I don’t actually realize I’m wandering around in it until the light begins to break through again.  I’ve been caving once, and, to be perfectly honest with you, I hated it. I’m not entirely sure what it is about crawling into the center of the earth, being cold, feeling constantly damp, and worrying about taking a wrong turn and getting lost forever in the bowels of the earth that actually appeals to people.  For some reason, though, there is this whole population of individuals who seem to think this is an enjoyable pastime.

I found myself on an adventure with some of these people once.  They assured me caving would be exhilarating and enjoyable. They were wrong.

They assured me I wouldn’t feel like I was going to get swallowed up by the bowels of the earth. They were wrong.

They assured me I wouldn’t have any moments where I would freak …

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