Carrying Our Burdens

I stumbled into church Sunday morning a whopping 7 minutes before the service started, and I was feeling pretty good about that accomplishment.  I wandered over to my typical, might-as-well-be assigned, seat in the back corner and dropped my purse onto the chair, but before I could even sit down, I was intercepted by a great friend whose mother-in-law in the hospital with end stage vascular disease.  His wife has been camped out at the hospital with her mom for the last 10 days or so, and he was at church with the family and extended family.  I hadn’t heard an update for the morning, yet, so he quickly filled me in on the night and the exhaustion they all were feeling.  I’ve sat in that same hospital, in those same rooms, and even worked with those same surgeons, and as he explained all the things happening in that hospital, I felt that weight on my own shoulders from my own hours in their shoes. 

Before he even finished updating me, a friend from bible study stopped beside us.  We haven’t really talked much in real life, just interacted a bit in our online bible study, but she spent those few minutes before the service talking to me about the pain and heartache she was feeling over a devastating relationship.  And, again, I listened, and again I felt the weight of her pain as I remembered my own similar experiences.  

Finally, I managed to actually sit down, and right as the service started, two friends came in and plopped down, one on each side of me.  To my left was my soul sister since birth.  Seriously, I think we share a brain sometimes.  Two months ago, she buried her 24 yr old step-daughter.  And that is a grief unlike any other.  And, to my right was another trench friend who goes home everyday to her husband who suffered a brain injury in a motorcycle accident just months after my parents’ motorcycle accident and my own mom’s brain injury.  

As the band started playing and we started singing, “Nothing is Better than you, God,” tears slowly came.  Then, when we sang, “You take what the enemy meant for evil, and you use it for good,” I raised my hands and claimed that promise for all of these situations.  And, finally, when we ended with “I’ve seen you move, you move the mountains, and I believe, I’ll see you do it again.  You made a way, where there was no way, and I believe, you’re gonna do it again,” I looked across the church and saw my friend who leaned on that song and those promises as she buried her dad a year ago, and I claimed that promise once again.  

Not for me.  

Not for my own life.

Not for my own problems.

Not for my own issues.

But for all of these friends God placed in my path this morning.

And, I’m convinced that’s what healing looks like.

Here’s the thing, I love worship.  I love music.  I have always felt closest to God and connected to God through music.  But, today was different because today I wasn’t praying these lyrics for myself.  I wasn’t claiming these promises for myself.  I wasn’t hopeful for myself.  My life and my problems seemed so incredibly insignificant compared to the weight my people are carrying.  I can’t tell you the last time I felt that.  I can’t tell you the last time I carried the weight of someone else’s burden because my own burdens have been too heavy for even me to carry at times.  But, today, my own burdens felt light, and my friends’ felt heavy, and my only desire was to try to lift and carry that burden even just a little bit for them.  

In Colossians 3:12-14, Paul says, “You are always and dearly loved by God! So robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy. Be merciful as you endeavor to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others. Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them. For love is supreme and must flow through each of these virtues. Love becomes the mark of true maturity” (TPT). We are called to clothe ourselves with the virtues of God, to be merciful in our understanding, to be compassionate and kind, to be gentle and humble, to be unoffendable in our patience with others.  In all of these virtues, though, there must be love.  I always served well; I could work.  I’ve always been more task-oriented than people-oriented.  I could do stuff, and I could do it well.  But, I was never good at the loving part.  I could show mercy, but not out of love.  I could be kind, but not because of love.  I could be gentle, but not if love.  It’s only been in the last several years that I have truly grasped what it means to love one another and to carry each other’s burdens.  

And I don’t think I’m the only one.

I served for so many years with so many people who were just like me--who served in various capacities because it was “the right thing to do,” or because it made them look good, or for the pat on the back or the jewel in their crown.  They “did” a lot, but they loved very little.  I “did” a lot, but I loved very little.  My schedule looks nothing like it did then.  I “do” much less, but I love so much more.  I spend less time rushing around and more time sitting on the porch listening.  I spend less time front and center and more time holding space for the people behind the scenes.  I spend less time running, and more time being still with the people who need me to be still with them.  

I think sometimes we confuse bearing fruit with being busy.  Our society perpetuates the non-stop lifestyle, even in our churches, but I’m learning that genuinely loving people and carrying each other’s burdens doesn’t support that at all.  I’m learning that bearing fruit happens in the quiet moments as often as it does in the loud ones, that love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control have more to do with relationships than with being busy.

As I look back over the past year, I am amazed at the mountains God has moved in my life and the giants God has dropped right in front of me.  My problems today seem so minute compared to my problems a year ago, and I’m grateful that God has placed me in a position today to be able to carry my friends’ burdens because they have carried mine for years.  And, I am humbled that God would place me here with these people who have loved me so unconditionally for so long, even when I didn’t know how to love myself or begin to truly love them back.

Maybe you find yourself in a position today where you need someone to carry your burden for you, where you are in the midst of the heartache and the chaos and can’t even begin to manage to carry your own burden.  If that’s you, I pray that God will place the people in your life who understand what it means to show love through their compassion, mercy, gentleness, humility, and patience.  And, if you find yourself in a position to serve, I pray that you do it well in love, that you carry the burdens of your people in love through your own compassion, mercy, gentleness, humility, and patience, that you truly clothe yourself with these virtues of God in love.

Until next time...