30 More Days of Grace

Unplugged: I grew up in the 80s and 90s.  There was no such thing as “screen time” when I was a kid because by the time our dial-up internet connected and we were welcomed by AOL, we had forgotten why we were even staring at the screen! The longest we ever spent on the computer was to attempt to travel the Oregon Trail without dying of Dysentery!   BP (Before Prison), I don’t think I would have even entertained the idea of being unplugged or disconnected.  So much of our lives are dependent on or driven by being plugged in and connected. Seriously, think about how many times you google something in a day!  What was life even like before we had unlimited information at our fingertips? What did we do when we actually had to talk to each other face to face, when we had to rely on passing notes in middle school, and when we didn’t have social media to convey a picture perfect life? Prison was like returning to life in the 80s and 90s in so many ways...

And, God said, “Mow Thy Grass” You know those people who just thrive on awkward situations?  The ones who find some sense of joy and weird adrenaline rushes from the strangest, most uncomfortable situations on the planet? Yeah, I’m not one of those people In fact, I hate awkward situations.  I suck at small talk; I laugh awkwardly at the most inopportune times, and I avoid confrontation like the plague.  So, you can imagine the absolute dread overwhelming me as I walked into a counseling session with my daughter knowing my ex-husband who isn’t exactly on the most stellar terms with me right now would be sitting in the waiting room with us.   The first few minutes of the afternoon went about as I had expected--a door slammed in my face, no words exchanged, etc, etc.  And, then, the dreaded point in the afternoon where our daughter went in with the counselor by herself, leaving the two of us seated together on a way too small couch in t...

Orange is, in Fact, NOT the New Black I walked into a birthday party a few days after getting out of prison, only to be met with shock--not because I was there, but because I was there and looked like a normal human being.  These were people I have known my whole life, and the consistent theme of the night was, “you look so good.” To be completely honest with you, I didn’t really think that much of it during the evening.  No, it wasn’t until I walked into church the next morning and again was met with the same looks of shock and the same comments of, “wow, you look so good.” Now, by this point, I have to admit, I started to get a bit of a complex.  I was definitely wondering how terrible I must have looked before I went to prison for everyone to be so amazed at the fact that I am tan, healthy, and rested!   And then it hit me. People were amazed at how I looked because, in reality, we have no idea what prison is actually like!  We know what...

Confession:  The Importance of Being Honest I’m a terrible liar. Seriously. An absolutely terrible liar. Now, I know what you’re thinking: This blog series is called “Lessons from Behind the Fence.”  You just got out of prison. How can you be a terrible liar?   Yes, yes, all those things are correct, but so is the fact that I am a terrible liar.  If I even try to lie, I get caught.  I had an affair.   I tried to lie.   I got caught.  And, honestly, if I could lie at all, I would never have even gone to prison!  Shoot, I was in the room with the detectives for less than 30 seconds before I completely told on myself.  And, just like in all the cheesy tv dramas, the detectives had nothing.   But they were great liars. And, I am a terrible liar. To be perfectly honest with you, though, I’m glad I’m a terrible liar.  It seems like everywhere I turn, I am faced with liars: in rela...